Hold something relatively light in your hand and bring it into the eye-sight.
It is really light, isn’t it?
Now, keep it there for 5 hours.
“Damn, that is heavy, please end this torture!”
That would be your reaction if you actually tried it out.
That is how your mind is begging you to stop when you keep negative thoughts for a long time.
How much time do we have left on earth? We don’t know the exact amount, right? But, we know it is not too long.
Ask any old people, they will all tell you it’s been a short journey.
Or just look at yours, it must feel like a blink of an eye.
How many seconds are there in a day? Let me tell you, 86400 seconds total.
Why do we bother to know this? Let’s say that you have 86400 dollars, each dollar represents a second.
Somebody stole 100 dollars from you. Well, that naturally pissed you off. Would you spend 80.000 dollars to get it back?
That sounds crazy right. It is just a day actually. Some people waste their weeks and months on that, you make the calculation.
The Chief and His Apprentice
Once upon a time, there was a wise chief living in a tribe.
The chief accepted a novice boy as an apprentice.
One day, they were walking in the middle of a forest as a part of their training. They saw a woman was unable to go beyond the river.
The chief grabbed the woman and carried her to the other side of the river.
His apprentice was so surprised, but he could not say anything. He probably did not want to disrespect him by questioning his behavior.
10 years later, they both were sitting near the fire. The young boy was grown up and he was almost ready to become a chief in one to two years.
He said, “Sir, shall I ask you something?”.
“Sure, go ahead”, the chief said.
“10 years ago, you touched a woman near the river. Our tenets say that it is forbidden to touch a woman. Why did you carry her?”, he asked.
Chief responded, “I carried her for 20 seconds and you carried her for 10 years.”
Why do people get depressed?
Because they are weak. If you wanna know the short answer, this is it. You don’t need to read the rest of the article.
The toughest guys I have seen had one single commonality.
They all have been through hard times. They either chose a tough life or the tough life chose them…
In ancient times, there were rites of passages for men. Men had to prove themselves through a tough challenge. It might be killing a wild animal or finding a rare gem in the jungle.
They could die and never turn back because it was dangerous. If they made it, that would make them so much stronger.
Spartans were beasts for a reason because they knew how to raise true warriors.
“One interesting rite of passage that the Spartans had was called Helot Killing. In the Spartan society, the only way a male could be considered a man was to go through warrior training, at a place called the krypteia.
Each Spartan boy would be taken from his family at the age of seven, and attend warrior training at the krypteia until he was seventeen.
When he turned eighteen, he would be sent off into the country with nothing but a knife, and had the task of killing as many state-owned slaves (called helots) as he could, while trying to return to his krypteia all in one piece.
During all of this, he would have to go undetected, making this rite of passage all the more difficult. If he completed this task, he would be considered a man, and would be expected to marry and continue serving his state as a warrior.
This rite of passage follows the three stage process, as discussed during class. The first stage is removal from society, which happens to a Spartan boy when he is seven years old, when he leaves to train at the krypteia. This stage includes the ten years of training the boy receives.
The next stage, transition, occurs when the boy goes on his quest to kill Helots and return to his krypteia. If he returns from this, he transitions into the final stage, reincorporation into society. He is now considered a man and a warrior, and is reincorporated into society with this reputation.”
Boy, have you ever stayed hungry for a long time?
That is tough. I’ve only experienced it in Ramadan, but I knew I was going to eat at night.
I had a friend who lived a poor childhood. He used to tell me his story. One night he was so hungry and asked her mother for a soup.
She told him to drink water and maybe they had anything to eat the day after… So, he just drank water to fill his stomach and slept with that hope.
That still gives me chills because I have never tasted this feeling. He was one of the coolest guys I have ever known.
And think about a guy who was given a Lamborghini when he was 16. Is there any way that he possible becomes cool and sage?
Look at the all big influencers, prophets, high achievers, successful sportsmen…
What do they all have in common? They all overcame through very tough situations. Like an iron under fire, the challenges made them pure and put them in a certain shape.
I have recently listened to an interview from Cristiano Ronaldo, the greatest football (soccer) player of all time. He tells that he was so hungry at nights and he was visiting the McDonalds in his small town, Madeira, Portuguese.
The girls who work at the burger shop were kind enough to give him the leftovers. He said that was a huge favor for him back then. Eating those burgers were so crucial to gain enough energy to play soccer the next day.
When he tells this story to his kid and shows where he lived, his son does not believe him. Why? Because now he has mansions, 20+ luxury cars, yachts…
Cristiano Ronaldo came from nothing, even her mother was quite unsure about giving birth to him.
He was a hungry tiger, he had the edge, you can tell from his eyes. Like Apollo Creed said to Rocky, we had the eye of the tiger baby…
So, what do people need to overcome nowadays?
We have everything. Kids are born with a silver spoon in their mouths.
If they listen to their instincts and try something dangerous, parents freak out and stop them immediately.
It does not work like that.
Raising your children in too much comfort is the worst thing you can do for them.
Why do we lift weights, do martial arts, or play video games? Would we do them if they were too easy? Nope, that would be too boring.
We feel better when we overcome the hardships of life.
One of my friends visited me once and we spent a day together. He was devastated by the rejection of rowing team elections.
He was upset and angry the whole day and that did not allow him to enjoy the day. Even though he had one of the best degrees in every challenge, they preferred people who they knew before.
He said he was preparing for one month to win the selections. Obviously, it was something important to him.
I did not get that. It sounded absurd to me.
He was complaining as “What will make me wake up for 5.00 am every day now? I feel so empty now”.
Again, it sounded so absurd to me. I asked him, “Did you do everything you can?”, he answered “Yes”.
I asked again “Is the rowing the only sports you can do on the earth?”, he replied, “Of course not, I can do other things”.
“So what? Just find something else and try it again next year. If you think they were unfair to you, then talk them to face to face.”, I said.
“But, how am I going to make myself get up 5.00 am without the motivation of the team? The rowing team was going to be great. Talking them? What am I going to say to them?”, he said.
I told him, “If you consider yourself that weak, you can’t do shit in this life. Anyone can make himself get up at 5.00 am, if he really wants it. Talk to them as you talk to me, tell them why you deserved to be part of the team. Complaining like a bitch and wasting your days will not benefit you.”
He said, “You are right, I will talk to them and see what else I can do as a sport.”
Do Not Become The Part Of The Drama
In a world where they chopped kids’ heads every day, I could not babysit him. A year later, he will probably laugh how stupid he was.
We are masters when it comes to making things bigger than they are. I did it millions of times. I remember how stressed I was in those exams that I don’t even remember now.
What happened? I just burned myself for nothing. Now, they seem like a joke…
When I faced death in the sea, it changed my whole perspective about life. All of a sudden, I stopped giving a fuck about everything. I remember I was walking around like a ghost for an hour.
What would be the worst scenario for god’s sake?
They did not accept you to a rowing team? Woah, what a great burden. How will you live with that?
We came up with the news while eating our dinner at a cafe. 6 people were dead in a firefight and we saw how desperate the families were…
My friend looked at me and said “I think you were right, there are so much bigger issues in this world. Mine was nothing, I made it bigger”.
I was glad that he finally saw it.
Shit happens in life, either good or bad. It is all about preparation.
There is no good or bad luck. It is all about preparation meets opportunity.
If bad shit happens when you are not prepared, it crushes you and you get depressed. But if you are prepared, you grow stronger from the pain.
If good shit happens when you are not prepared, you just miss the chance. You just wonder why good things happen to other people while you are completely blind.
If you are prepared, you use the opportunity and they call you “lucky”.
Arnold Schwarzenegger met Reg Park, how lucky he is, isn’t he?
Nope. Reg probably met thousands of bodybuilding enthusiasts and you never heard about them. What made the Arnold special? He was prepared. He had an amazing body even as a teenager…
Why do we worry too much?
Our mind misguides us. It has no intention to do any harm, but the results might be harmful.
We are not equipped with the best tools to succeed.
Our instincts want to make sure we survive, they don’t give a damn about our success.
We are programmed to act in a limited range of possibilities. If we get out of the realm of those possibilities, the fear kicks in.
You feel it when you:
- see a hot chick and hesitate to say “hi”.
- decide to start any entrepreneurial adventure.
- want to quit your job
- decide to join a martial art gym for the first time
When I was making cold approaches for the first time, my brain was throwing at me disaster scenarios.
What if she screams and other people beat me up? What if the policeman comes and they throw me into jail?
Those were not real but they seemed real back then. I was worried about the illusional situations I might get in.
This is why Bruce Lee said, “If you spend too much time thinking about a thing, you’ll never get it done.”
You get into analysis paralysis mode.
What was the worst-case scenario?
Yeah, that was it. Women were just ignoring you, that was it. A lot of beautiful women were missing the chance of meeting me because of that silly fear.
Same thing with quitting my job and starting my online business.
What if I stay poor and homeless? What if I never make it? What if people don’t like my articles? What if they mock and tease me in front of others?
What if, what if…
What was the worst-case scenario?
“A negative comment”.
That was it. Now, I beg for people to criticize me.
Because it is one of the best indicators that you are doing something. Fear just dissolves when you took action because you see that was only an illusion.
I had butterflies in my stomach just before I quit my job because I did not know what was going to happen later.
I quit and saw that it is no big deal. Yeah, people were not calling me like they used to. That was great because I had a lot of time to build Command Glory.
Now, I see my old friends who took the narrow and straight path and became professionals.
They look at me and say “You are so lucky”, I wish I could do what you do. That puts a smile on my face because that is a cute lie.
They say it to suppress their pain. I had the luck, they did not have it, so they can live pain-free.
The truth? They just took another path which led them to live in misery.
- “But I have no time as you do…”
- “But my parents…”
- “But my job does not allow me…”
Bullshit. If you want something, you find a way.
Complaining and resenting by saying “I wish…” is the proof of “you don’t really want it”. Otherwise, you would be busy finding a way out.
You worry when you did not take the required actions.
Your brain tells you that you are not prepared. It talks to you as “Do something and be prepared!”. It is not possible to cover it up with bullshit lies.
What do people with depression have all in common?
They are generally addicted to alcohol, cigarette, marijuana, porn & masturbation, entertainment, sex, etc.
Why? They don’t face their problems.
They just run away from them and cover them up with external dopamine boosters. Do they solve anything? Nope.
When you become civilized and sell your soul, nothing can save you.
You must ask the questions you are scared to ask, even if they are too painful.
We grow by the pain, we die in comfort.