Everybody wants to be loved, nobody wants to be hated.
Love and appreciation are the ultimate everlasting human desires. That being the case, why hatred is easily widespread while love is so scarce?
How has hatred been part of the human experience throughout history? Why is it easier to prefer hate? Who does it provide more pleasure for many of us?
Why are we so damn obsessed planting the seeds of hate despite its unblessed outcomes?
Well, there’s no one-sentence answer for all of that but we will cover them from every possible angle.
The Origin Of Hate
Hate has existed since the first human being joined the game of life. It’s mentioned in all holy books mainly the Bible, Torah, Quran.
Besides that, there are records about hate in the sources of Mesopotamian civilizations.
The story of Cain and Abel
Cain, in the Bible (Old Testament), the firstborn son of Adam and Eve, and Abel was their second one. They both grow up and acquire a profession in life. Cain becomes a farmer and his brother Abel was a shepherd.
Cain offers the yields as a gift to the Lord while Abel presented his fatty and well-fed animals. In some records, it’s mentioned as God doesn’t even look at Cain’s gift because it was chosen negligently.
Cain became enraged when God accepted the offering of his brother in preference to his own. So the jealousy, as one of the basic human instincts, finds its place to grow. Cain’s hate led him to murder his brother and was banished by the Lord from the settled country.
Long story short, hate is an indispensable part of our creation.
It has always been within us, so we haven’t possessed it in course of time due to changes in external factors.
Hate is everywhere
Hate is everywhere despite gets us nowhere. We can easily get triggered by anything or anyone nowadays.
The examples are excessively seen in social media, sports matches, social events, debates, and comment sections. Unless you’re stuck in a cave for decades, then you experienced hate is always in the air on these platforms.
Every place can easily turn into a possible combat area by the help of highly enraged people. Just because someone has a different idea, supports a different team, or choose a different color; we have the right to see them as our deadly enemies.
It comes to a point where we end up killing each other for trivial reasons. Can you imagine the absurdity of this human behavior?
Our love can easily turn into hate
It’s rare to see married couples anymore because they all get divorced for some reason or struggle desperately to make it through.
You remember them as happy and lovely couples but they turn into such horrible individuals right after the process of divorcement.
These people used to sleep in the same bed, dream about common goals, and share lots of good memories; but they suddenly decide to do all kinds of harm to each other as they were long-standing rivals.
This is the most obvious proof of that our loves are interest-oriented.
We love with expectancy, with the idea of having some return from the people we show love. When our expectations aren’t met, the hate fills the gap of love.
“And where love ends, hate begins” –Lev Tolstoy
So let’s firstly make it clear that evil is part of our character.
Hate and all the other negative emotions are deeply wired into our being with a strong ancient background. Secondly, it’s easy to enter the darkness of hate when we are inclined to it.
As Grant Jedi Master Yoda said in Star Wars, “Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny, consume you it will.”
The Dark Side is like an addictive drug. Once you’re hooked, it would be very hard to leave it behind.
It’s impossible to generate positive results through hatred.
There’s no positivity acquired by harvesting the seeds of hate.
Negativity only empowers its allies. It might be relieving, alluring, and promising at that time but the results are always against our favor. So although it does such a disservice to us, why is evil so sexy and so profoundly glamorous?
Yes, virtue is admired but it is vice we find sexy. Terry Eagleton explains this as “Evil becomes sexy when virtue becomes boring”.
We fall into trap of believing that virtue is worthless as it’s not something we need to get good at. So doing evil things become alluring in a delusional satisfying world.
- “Fuck it, virtue doesn’t help you to make more money”
- “Don’t do any good because people will abuse it”
- “People are all bad and they don’t deserve any good”
- “You are so naive if you think about the good side”
Are these beliefs actually true? No, at least they weren’t for a very long time. We did not start to label being virtuous as boring and useless all of sudden.
The evolution of our perspective on good and evil is a historical matter. Back then virtue was about prudence, thrift, chastity, temperance, etc. Today nobody is eager to be good in that way. This is the moment where evil becomes so alluring.
Aristotle said, “Virtue makes us aim at the right end”.
One of the best theologs of ancient greek, Thomas Aquinas, described being good as an exciting and exuberant way of expressing energy for our personal growth, while evil was all about deprivation, negativity, nothingness, and inability to be fully alive for him.
While virtue was considered as the ultimate way of flourishing, evil was something that looks flashy but it’s actually phony, empty, and boring without any depth.
According to Aquinas, life is good in a neutral state without external intervention. So it’s good that water flows, birds fly, and dogs run around. The demonic force is against the creation and its whole aim is to reverse creation back to chaos.
So the evil side always wants to demolish, destruct, and tear everything down as an anti-creational force. Its final destination is always an absolute nothingness or nihilism.
Why? This is the strange part. The demonic force doesn’t need a reason, it just does it for the hell of it, so the game of life and our wars continue on.
People might be captivated by the illusional charming effect of evil but that only happens if the minds are clouded with the inability to see the end result.
The wealth you acquired through dishonesty does no good but drags you into more dirt, and mostly you don’t even want to see it. On the other hand, being virtuous through possessing honesty, good morals, and the right work ethic lead to having a good reputation which is a lifelong investment for you.
Hate opens the doors of violence
Hate cannot be isolated in itself because it is a phenomenon that can be the fuel of other destructive events.
We don’t hate for the sake of being hateful. We also have negative hopes and wishes for the ones we hate like “I hate you. I hope you die in a shit hole!”.
So violence doesn’t come up as violence right away, it goes through a developing process. For instance, the violence in the family happens due to the lack of love. Later lovelessness turns into hate, and lastly, we see its manifestation in violent behaviors.
Hate can also be learned
There are certain things in life that we cannot choose, that we are born into it. For example, our skin color, our body, our race, our geography, etc.
However, lots of people have been tyrannized for the things they could not choose in history. One of them was Nelson Mandela who was the first black president of South Africa. He said “No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.”
We also learn who should we hate or love from our environment. The authority figures in our lives have the most effect on our worldview.
“They are Muslims, infidels, black people, Asians, Christians; and here we are statues of purity. Stay away from those people because they have done this and that in the past.”
Every culture has its own toxic doctrines that exaggerate their domestic values and demonize others. The seeds of discrimination and separation are planted in this way. If we are not cautious, we can easily let the hate grow inside us.
Most people are imprisoned by the dogmas of their society because they learn everything through social conditioning. It’s beneficial up to some point to survive in a community but it also closes the doors of personal freedom. If your thoughts and beliefs are never questioned, you become a sheep whose beliefs are defined by cultural dogmas due to the lack of ability to form original ideas.
The capacity to develop your own thinking and judgment is a serious threat to society. When you go against dogmas, society does its best to suppress you. People easily envy outliers because they could never find the courage to do something that leads to personal freedom and they are aware of this. This is the exact place where hate is born. Almost nobody is willing to accept their inadequacy when hate has such a relieving offer because very few people can handle the truth.
Hate finds its spot in the absence of love
Hate and happiness cannot exist in the same room at the same time. It’s too hard to carry hate in your heart when your soul is filled with love.
However, if you are broken inside, you make sure the world pays the price as well. So feeling hatred towards others is not about others, it’s about how we perceive what’s happening as result of our internal war.
We often neglect to consider our part in hate. We even forget that it’s a choice that will hurt us before anybody else. It’s hard to grasp its negative effect because when you hate someone, your focus is on them.
However, when you point a finger at someone, there are three more pointing back at you.
Nobody can hate anyone if he has not hated himself. Hate only comes into existence when you truly realize there’s something missing in you.
So if you are possessed by hate, you should know that it’s a 100% personal issue.
Why the most successful people have the most haters? A healthy individual would look up and get inspired by others’ success but some people simply can’t. Why?
Because wrecked souls are out of control and they get triggered to see other people reaching success. Hate is the comforting but sickening place where they escape from the unbearable pain of their shitty life.
They try to use hate to fill the lack of their soul.
Negativity is a great rating source for media because people love watching terrible things, so people get relieved by thinking like “Yeah I am going through bad stuff but thanks God there are others suffering more than me”.
Just like this mentality, people try to feel better for a moment by spreading their hate everywhere possible.
“They do not want to own your fortune, they want you to lose it; they do not want to succeed, they want you to fail; they do not want to live, they want you to die; they desire nothing, they hate existence, and they keep running, each trying not to learn that the object of his hatred is himself.”
-Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged
Social media fanned the flame of hate
It’s not the same to talk in person versus typing on a keyboard with a nickname. The internet age obviously made it more available to spread hatred.
A big part of the masses are not happy with their life, moreover, they are mostly sick of it. It’s so easy to find pleasurable hateful moments on the internet. Nobody knows your identity, so it’s less risky to cross the social lines.
You can curse as much as you like, talk all the dirt, find scapegoats to alleviate your own pain.
You don’t give a AK 47 to a monkey because power in the wrong hands can easily cause corruption.
Corrupt people will make use of any development to amplify corruption.
It’s not that TV, smartphones, social media platforms, or video games are pure evil. The technological advancements are neutral but it’s our way of usage that makes them good or bad. If people weren’t sick, they wouldn’t be using these inventions in such horrible ways.
It’s crazy how ferociously they try to bring others down through hateful comments. This hate originally stems from self-hatred.
By spreading their negative vibe, sick people forget their sickness for a second, and they shift their focus on somebody else to get the relief of tearing down.
Strangely they reflect their own insecurities in their destructive criticism. For example, if people ever tried to ridicule you for how you look, it’s because of their insecurities about their own appearance.
If you actually pay close attention to their screams, you can hear that these are all help cries. Always being ignored by people literally turned them into sick individuals.
Their mom, dad, grandma, uncle did not love them and they are looking for a way to take more attention now.
Their method sucks but this is the only way they know. They lost their common sense and rational thinking ability due to growing up in a loveless environment.
Hate can lead to self-destruction
Hate also tastes sweet especially when it makes you belong to a certain community.
You become a part of the majority through hating minorities. The insidious danger in collectivist thinking lies behind the mentality of “only group matters”.
When we hate, we also check who also share the same hate with us. So it loses its meaning and turns into a means for the sake of conformity. It doesn’t matter why we hate as long as it provides certain social benefits.
This certainly annihilates the integrity of the individual. However, the damage still remains the same regardless of how we use hate.
Cain was filled with hatred because he deeply knew he lost the chance in his hand. He realized that he squandered what was once within his reach. Abel deserved to be God’s favorite by doing things right and his success shined like a missed opportunity for Cain. It’s such a bitter feeling to know that you’ve put yourself down.
It was easier to destroy Abel out of vengeance than correcting his wrong-doing. The right path requires sacrificing yourself by deconstructing your character, in other words, you must let your miserable self die for a better one to be born.
You have to sacrifice your ego and let it die for purification. It feels wrong and too much of a burden at that time because nobody wants to die willingly by default. So Cain could not triumph over his animalistic desire and get beaten by the temptation that results in murder.
What should we do with our hate?
None of us are saints.
We all have a terrible capacity for destructiveness. It looks like a negative situation but the ability to be destructive is also proof of a potential constructive force which we can also use for the good.
Suffering is inevitable in life, so pick your sacrifice wisely in a way to make your life better. If you just let yourself live a miserable life and suffer stupidly, you’ll eventually get bitter just like Cain did.
It doesn’t matter how smart or talented you are as long as you are not capable of using them in your own favor. At the end of the day, people never would love to live with the regret of knowing that they could have done more.
Hatred and resentment towards the world and others will never cure the pain of regret. The pain might alleviate for a while, but it is not possible to get positive or beneficial outcomes from hate. It will only grow like a virulent poison inside you and eventually consume what you all have as long as you feed it.
Yes, the hate existed since the beginning of time and it’s an emotion that we can’t entirely detach ourselves but this never justifies our surrender.
Regardless of circumstances, our soul is always in our keeping alone. This is an eternal struggle, a war within, that will continue to exist forever.
Blaming others will not suffice, or bring us closer to salvation.