- I’m 28 and I still don’t know what I want to do with my life.
- I am 30 and still not able to figure out what is my passion in life.
- I am just going where life is taking me.
- How do I discover my passion?
- What should I do when I feel like I’m not going anywhere in life?
- I feel clueless about where my life is going, it just feels like everything is wrong.
More people started to have these kinds of issues nowadays.
Is this normal?
People are lost, depressed, sick of living more than ever. Of course, this is not a coincidence, there are certain reasons behind this misery.
Can you imagine old fashioned people sitting in a room thinking for hours about what the hell to do with their life? Hell no, why? Because this wasn’t even an issue years ago.
People were already busy enough to spend their whole day, so they had no luxury to fall into the analysis paralysis trap. The connection between nature and human-beings wasn’t fallen apart, yet. That is why everyone was more self-conscious about their true essence.
Depression, anxiety, mental disorders are the diseases that modern life brought us due to living against our own nature. What do we have now? We don’t have to do much to survive. There’s not a farm, animals, or tribe we have to take care of.
You can plug yourself into the system and make your living pretty easy. We go to the schools that everybody is treated exactly the same regardless of our predispositions.
What’s school anyway? Education is a noble art but the teachers that we entrusted our children are the most dumbass individuals on the earth.
The government selects them by bullshit tests, and tells them “Here are a bunch of kids you have to educate”.
Teacher: “What will I teach?”
Government: “Math, science, literature, whatever”.
Teacher: “Wait, wait do they want to learn any of that?”
Government: “Nope, they’d rather screw around but you still do it.”
Teacher: “Hey, wait a minute, who are these kids?”
Government: “Just some random kids from the neighborhood”
If the education system did not suck, you would not hear too many desperate cries on the internet everywhere.
What’s the point of going to college when you don’t know what you’re studying for? What’s the point of getting a minimum wage job when it won’t cover your living expenses? What’s the point of making an effort for the things you are not interested at all?
It’s completely normal to be unwilling when nothing means shit.
Do you know what’s the worst part? Nobody has the recipe for you, it’s you who have to figure out it all. Surprisingly, this is also the best part, too. This is the one and the only path you have to walk through. You either make it or you don’t.
People can’t see what’s obvious and think about life concretely because of the stress they had accumulated.
How can you move forward when you were drowning in a thick fog? You must get rid of that fucking fog, so things start making sense for you.
This is what we are going to achieve in this article. For this purpose, let’s have a look at the common mistakes people do for start.
1- Comparing yourself with others
You only disregard, even insult your unique identity when you make a comparison with yourself and other people.
Everybody has a different background story. Every individual lives in a different time zone. If you want to be free, let people be themselves and let yourself be you. It’s not your business to regularly check out who is doing what.
People used to live a much simpler life and they were happier in their small world. Why? Because they were always busy with their lives in a small circle. So, you better get busy with your life instead of others before it’s too late.
Using too much social media is the biggest trigger if you want to lose self-control, to feel bad about yourself by having more resentment, jealousy, and hatred. Why would you need to plant the seeds of negativity?
You don’t need to know what those people are sharing at all. This is only a distraction for you which takes away your focus to make something useful for your life.
Oh let’s see what Becky shared! Then, you start watching a stupid video, later you spend thirty minutes reading comments and writing one for yourself. What would you lose if you haven’t done it all? Nothing, you only would have saved your time and energy.
2- Creating a story in your head
Once you are in a negative state of mind, it’s easy to get lost in disaster scenarios. Anxious people have a strong tendency in their subconscious to make up disaster stories that are not even true.
It’s a skill to detect your mind’s ability to tell a false story. The first step is to be aware that you are not your mind or your thoughts generated from it. When you are overwhelmed by the flow of thoughts, just stop the world.
Stop doing anything and start observing what’s going on in your thought process. Is this thought true? Are these thoughts based on fear or love? Do they even have a solid base? What could be the worst scenario? What is another possibility here? Does this belief connect or disconnect me from others?
Soon enough you will realize the mind loves bullshitting. You don’t have to pay strict attention to every thought and let it penetrate into your spirit. Until you reach a certain level of self awareness, it’s impossible to save yourself from this vicious cycle. Just step aside, stop the world, and take a look at your situation from a different perspective.
3- Consuming too much
No matter how much modern life rolls out the red carpet for consumerism, it’s still your responsibility to not accept it. Why? Because conformity can crush your whole being mercilessly if you let it.
There are so many things available waiting for you to consume. You can reach endless amount of internet content, food, music, media, and stuff through one click but is that for your advantage?
Being a mindless consumer is a sure way to lose your sanity. They only want you to increase the consumption curve, so the system works better. The more you consume, the less you want to produce and make a contribution to yourself and others.
Regardless of how much ads, mass media, billboards they use to manipulate your mind, you still have the will to deny this bullshit.
So, take charge and do not let consumerism takes you over.
4- Not taking any action at all
It’s very common nowadays to try solving everything from where you sit.
You can’t solve anything without taking action. If there’s no action, there won’t be any change in your current situation.
You also don’t have to know all before starting because the answers will be figured out in your journey.
People expect a change in their situation without making any move at all. That is the definition of living in a real world. If you want results, taking action is a must. This is the only way to see what works for you and what does not.
5- Falling into the trap of “nothing matters”
You can see yourself as one speck of dust among seven billion and you’re right about that.
Looks like you, me, or anything does not matter, right? Nope, because we are all a node in a huge network.
The impact you make on an individual spreads upon exponentially. How? Tell me, how many people you will meet in your life? Let’s assume that you are an antisocial nerd, still, you will be seeing more than 1000 people. What does that mean? Those people will be in contact with roughly the same number of people, one way or another, this number will go to the infinity.
Don’t overestimate your existence but do not underestimate it either. We matter and don’t matter at all. Both are true depending upon which you choose it.
Nothing happens for a reason. If there’s a fly, it exists because the fly has a role in this life, so do you.
6- Looking for a passion
I won’t talk smack about passion. I don’t know why it’s popular to tear passion apart among many self-help gurus.
Having a passion in life is great because you are emotionally involved in the work you do and that means your tank is always fuel.
However, passion is not a requirement to feel blissful. Very few people have the privilege to do what they are passionate about. Most people pass away before finding any passion at all and that’s totally fine.
You don’t have to make all of your plans based on the outside chance. Look at everything you have and use. The building you live in, the food you eat, the clothes you wear…
Do you think people worked for them because they were passionate? No, they did it anyway.
It’s cool to look for something you have passionate about but just keep in mind that it’s not a must in life.
Especially, do not be one of those people sitting on their ass whole day waiting for a miracle that whispers their passion in their ear from nowhere. Even if you are going to find out your passion, it will be a result of your efforts by trial error through a gazillion of experiments. So, chill out and enjoy your ride.
You don’t have to be a rockstar, you don’t have to be all “eyes on me” iconic superstar, you don’t need the admiration of the masses. That’s what movies tell you because they don’t want you to feel content.
If you can achieve being kind to other people and spreading love instead of hate and anger, you are doing great.
7- Lack of movement
“Al haraka baraka” is a widely known Arabic proverb which means “movement is a blessing”.
Physical activity helps you become healthier and it also attracts many blessings.
If you are living a stationary life that lacks exercise, you keep all beneficial outcomes away from your life.
Why would you do that? That’s stupid.
8- Inconsistent sleep schedule
Sleep is one of the key components of living a healthy life, both mentally and physically.
So if your sleep schedule is messy, don’t be surprised by the grand amount of chaos in your life.
Even everyone has different chronotypes, there are still common musts we all have to live by.
What are these?
- Get a good night’s sleep
- Go to bed and rise up at the same time
When you lack a good night’s sleep, the body can’t produce melatonin and enough growth hormone.
What happens afterward? You lose your sanity. The mental clarity is gone and it becomes impossible to make rational decisions.
9- Poor Nutrition
Almost 2 billion people are overweight while 500 million are underweight.
When you have deficiencies, excesses, or imbalances in your energy intake, you welcome all kinds of diseases and troubles into your life.
Food is the fuel of the body and if you require high performance, then you must feed it with high-quality fuel.
According to research, patients experiencing weight loss and other symptoms of malnutrition often report higher levels of psychological distress, which manifests as more severe fatigue, insomnia, anxiety, and depression, further contributing to disease progression.
If you are eating garbage, you become garbage.
Just try eating nothing but real, healthy, natural whole food, and see how amazing it feels!
Healthy people love being healthy because they have tons of energy. You can get off from the ground with this energy and even put it towards so many uses.
Let me warn you about this. 90% of the food in supermarkets is trash.
Breakfast cereals, sausages, chocolates, ice creams, biscuits, all fast foods, processed meat are not real food.
Real foods don’t have labels such as eggs, steaks, butter, fruits, vegetables, rice, potatoes, etc.
10- Lack of novelty/monotony
What’s the difference between animals living in zoos and wild nature?
Yes, lack of energy. Animals living in zoos are fed every day and they are trapped in a small place which is extremely boring.
Some of them even get lazy and fat because they don’t have to do anything for their food. Still, you can tell from their eyes how they are sick of living life.
What would happen if they were released back into the wild? They would have to work harder to find food every day. Well, there would be no security and conformity but still, they all would run away if the cage doors were left open.
You can’t blame these animals because humans lock them in a cage. However, most people willingly stay in their cage by staying at home, in an office, or in boring relationships.
They choose guaranteed and safe paths rather than embarking on a new adventure. This results in monotony and a lack of novelty in life which are both soul killers.
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WITH YOUR LIFE?
So we are done with what not to do, we can start discussing what to do.
Life is obviously vast. There are so many great things you could be doing. It’s not possible to deliver all in one package formula for everyone.
Nobody can give it to you because nobody lived the life for you. It’s your responsibility to take away what’s necessary and ditch what’s not.
Here, we will discuss general concepts to clear up the dirt in your mind, so you can build your life on solid ground.
1- See What’s In Front Of You
Most people are blind to the facts around them. They try to find solutions for upcoming problems of 15 years later but they neglect what’s happening right now.
Why would you worry about the 71st step while you are on the 3rd one? There will be a time where you need to deal with those higher-level problems but you always get stuck if they are all of your concerns.
Let’s give some examples. If you are an overweight student, it would be silly to be overwhelmed by the economy of the 3rd world countries. You would better get up your ass, buy a gym membership and go to the classes regularly instead. After you are done with the obvious problems, now you can be able to see what’s further.
I am not saying that you should never be bothered by what’s going on in the world. However, that must not be an excuse to disregard your current responsibilities.
It’s also hard to accept that you suck at what you are doing right now. That’s the majority of why most people feel stuck. It feels better to feel stuck rather than accepting your failure. Why? Because when you accept that you are a wreck, that’s a lot of work for you to get rid of that.
Thereby, it’s more comfortable to kill your time with irrelevant agenda topics that you have no control over.
Most people don’t clean their room, make their bed, iron their clothes, wash their dishes but they are too worried about how to manage their businesses if it gets off from the ground. That’s like being concerned about how to deal with the soreness of 300 lbs bench press when you can’t even perform 3 push-ups.
That’s stupid, don’t be stupid. See and handle what’s in front of you first because there’s a time and place for everything.
2- Make A Lemonade
When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade.
There’s no equality in life. We are all born in different places with different genetic backgrounds.
Some of us better than others at certain things. Well, what did life give you? What’s your thing? These questions can sound overwhelming but they are waiting for you to answer it.
Instead of smoothing over the cracks, you need to take a look at your story from the moment of your birth.
The cure is sharing your gift with the world and helping other people out. However, you have to help yourself and find out the answers first.
The problem usually starts here because most people have no idea about what they want. It’s often very hard to detect what we are good at because it comes so naturally to us, so we assume everybody can do it just like we do.
It can drive anyone insane when you can’t seem to identify your goals, especially if you have a poor social life because people can provide a healthy feedback mechanism that’s going to help you.
Jealousy can easily come knocking at your door whenever you see successful people in this situation. You probably know that sitting down on your ass won’t help you and you just want to change things so bad but you don’t even know what the hell you want.
That’s it, you just don’t know. You have so much to offer as the person right now but it doesn’t mean shit when you don’t know. So everything is perfect to get more and more depressed.
Knowing oneself is a must for self-actualization and it’s possible when you…
3- Write It Out
Just like basic physiological needs such as oxygen, food, and water; we also have psychological needs. Psychological needs matter more nowadays because we are already done with physiological ones in the modern age.
As it’s said in the Fight Club, our wars are spiritual anymore. Writing can have a huge impact by providing a learning experience for you. The more you write, the better you know about yourself, mostly unintended and surprisingly.
You begin to see that your life does count due to the wisdom you occasionally get from observing your thoughts on paper. It can be scary to write sometimes, especially when you are about to face what kind of person you are.
You know the day is over and you know that it’s mostly wasted through fruitless activities. You need balls to have a confrontation that you are wrong. Well, that strengthens your character because responsible individuals love to have this kind of confrontation to keep themselves in the line.
Journaling, for example, is a tool to have a conversation with yourself. What would be a better chance to understand and discover your character?
4- Take Care Of Your Body
Isn’t it a smart move to take care of the place you have to live in? That’s a win-win for everyone.
I would totally understand if people beat the shit out of their body because they don’t know what’s good.
Everybody knows it. Everyone knows what’s good for them. Clean water, organic and non-GMO food, regular exercising, a good night’s sleep, etc. but still they all killingly torture their body with a shitty lifestyle.
What’s the explanation of that? Stupidity. How the hell you can achieve the goals you set for yourself if you are not healthy?
5- Do Not Rush
If you rush, you just don’t understand. You don’t understand what life is all about.
Don’t let the fast information age fool you. You can’t have everything instantaneously all the time. All great things take time. Life satisfaction is a hundred percent long and painful process.
Don’t expect to find the work of your life without blood, sweat, and tears. So with hardship comes ease. With pain there is gain. What makes things great is the price you pay for them.
Let the rain fall down and the new day wash away all the pain of yesterday.
6- Ignore People
I know your mom or whoever is always telling you to do something with your life. That does not help but puts a lot of unnecessary pressure on you. You don’t need that. They might not know it but you should.
Be very careful about people around you, including the ones very closest to you. The fact is everyone is fighting their own demons, and so they might not always have your best interest in mind. Real supporters listen without judging and provide emotional support for your relief because they always trust you’re going to make it.
I trust you. You know the best. The situation you are in is temporary and you are tough enough to beat that.
7- Try Out New Stuff
If you haven’t found anything, yet, there can be one sweet reason behind it.
When was the last time you tried something new?
I don’t know what you need but you ain’t gonna find it unless you’re pushing your limits. Our ego likes to keep ourselves within a certain range of possibilities because identity changes are dangerous.
There come bullshit rationalizations to stay in the comfort zone which is why we feel bad in the first place.
Let’s face it, trying new things is often terribly daunting because of the unknown factor. It requires us to be in an unfamiliar situation that’s hard to describe. We don’t want the act of leaving our comfort zone because it obviously puts us in a vulnerable position.
The self-sabotaging thoughts visit our head as: “Do I really want to do this?” Can I do this? Do I look stupid? Am I even capable of achieving this?”. While it may not feel so at that moment, this conversation in our head is completely normal because we are in a transition phase.
It doesn’t matter whether it’s a big or small leap outside your comfort zone because you are still going to reap the benefits later on. The possibilities are absolutely endless and the sky is the limit for you.
Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.
8- Show Up Every day
If showing up is half the battle, then you have to find something you’d like to show up every day. Pretty obvious, ha?
Pick something you want to improve on and do it every day no matter what. That was boxing for Muhammed Ali, playing soccer for Cristiano Ronaldo, and it’s writing for me.
You need to get to a point where you suffer in pain when you don’t show up on that thing. The days I don’t write are brutal torture. It’s a part of me anymore.
There is nothing more fulfilling than having an occupation where you dedicate yourself to excellence. The actual fulfillment, happiness, and joy are behind the reaping the rewards of what you built.
You see how much you’ve improved and that’s an indescribable joy in life. Well, not everybody can do everything.
Dedication without talent is useless. So you can’t choose it by financial concerns or expecting to gain admiration from your peers. The drive must come from inside, so you reach an unlimited fuel for your dedication.
Otherwise, don’t even start.
9- Don’t Play Any Drama
Look, it’s not that you are the only victim of this bullshit nonsense of modern life.
It’s a pity to glorify anybody’s struggle nor invalidate anyone. However, open your eyes and look at so many people out there experience the misery of being stuck in limbo. You are not special, it just happens to most of us.
I don’t know where it leads you but it sure can give you hope that this is a phase in your life that will possibly open up into something better. Just identify the lessons you learned without playing any drama.
People can’t do that. They always complain, tell bullshit stories, become frustrated, and make the situation even worse. Humans are weak. They need a lot of pain to get strong. What if they can’t read the obstacles well? They continue to stay weak.
No matter how terrible your situation is, as long as you cope with it constructively, you can always move upward.
10- Look At Yourself Objectively
Everybody believes they deserve more than they have.
Can this be true? Absolutely no.
People live in a fake reality where they highly exaggerate their self-value. When it comes to others, they are all willing to tear everyone apart. However, if the issue is themselves, they evaluate the situation in the most subjective matter.
The day people start to question their own shittyness, instead of others; the world will be a better place the very next day. So you don’t believe me? Write down everything you’ve done today on a paper from the moment you wake up until you sleep.
What actions do serve your purpose? Be objective like you are reading a paper of somebody else. It’s mind-blowing how people are more tolerable when it’s about them.
Well, life does not care about who you are. The world is not a crazy place where undeserving maniacs are always rewarded.
You want something and that’s cool but what do you do to deserve it? What’s your work and sacrifice? What are you willing to give up? The reason why you believe you deserve better is the reason why you aren’t.
Do not overestimate yourself.
People are born sometimes with no eyes, with no face. They are just born and they never know a moment without pain and suffering. So?
Nobody cares what you are going through. Just pick a road and go down on it, or don’t.
If you want to be happy, be like this dog.
How many legs does this dog have?
I hear you’re saying three but the right answer, “it has enough”.
If your belly is full, not dying of thirst, you are perfectly ready to see what comes next.
Anything else than that, you are creating it and you don’t need it.