When you look at the people in our society, what do you see on them?
I see lots of fear in their eyes.
A deep rotting fear, and they are all infected by it.
Fear is a natural instinct, it’s a power that keeps you alive but we turned it into an enemy.
Why you should understand what fear is?
Good question fella.
Because if you don’t understand it correctly, you can’t conquer it. What will happen later? It will crawl into your soul and taint your inner peace for a lifetime. You will become paralyzed by it without even realizing it.
We are not born to be paralyzed by fear. When you truly understand what it is, you can face it with courage.
Today fear is perceived only from a negative aspect like it’s a pure malevolent phenomenon. We made songs that the most important thing is to have no fear and we are all fearless warriors. As a man, you are always told to overcome fear and be brave.
Here’s the fact.
We will always be afraid
Yes, fear will exist in our system for our whole life but that’s not bad at all.
Emotions are healthy and natural servants. So the solution is not to get rid of them but it’s making them healthy again.
Fear is only there to serve you.
Anytime there’s a change in the current situation we become afraid because we don’t know what will happen next. As human beings, it’s our duty to map out our future, so this kind of fear makes us available to stay alert, attentive, and ready to act.
Fear is an instinct that makes us fit into the current reality. Without fear, we could not think quickly, run away from danger, or make certain decisions right away.
Alright then, why fear is taught negatively?
It’s because of ignorance. Nobody understands fear, so how can they teach it correctly? Since it’s often accompanied by the danger element, it’s coded in our brain negatively because our parents wanted us to be safe. Their parents also had done the same thing to them.
Brute survival triumphs over everything else.
The less intercourse you have with fear, the higher chance of survival you have. So whenever we dealt with a fearful experience, we tried our best to run away from it, or suppress it if we can’t avoid it.
This general security programming has also been reinforced through repetition over time. The more you suppressed its existence, the less you became sensitive to fear. So, your chance of experiencing its results has decreased.
Your ability to allow fear to exist in your system has severely diminished. However, nothing on earth is created for no reason. Instead of understanding the role fear plays in our lives, we chose to disregard it at all costs and there are certain consequences of this choice.
Can you eliminate fear by solely disregarding it as it does not exist?
Of course no, you only fool yourself and become disconnected with your nature. You only choose a more limited life. We don’t even think about that because we do it by the rule as it’s our natural point of reference.
All decisions we make and roads we choose have the LEAST fear possible.
Have you ever heard the term “The path of least resistance”? It’s the path of the majority for a reason.
In every choice we make, we look forward to the future and our limited mind helps us to choose the path of least resistance. We never want to experience the big bad fear whether it’s a personal or professional choice.
The conversation in our brain is always the same: “Oh, you smell fear? Just avoid it okay?”.
Fear determines what we go through in life as we are the puppet of it. We suck at dealing with fear. Nobody teaches fear, nobody understands it, that’s why we suck at dealing with it.
We go through all of the years of schooling and nobody even mentions what fear is. So we all had to cope with it unconsciously with our insufficient amount of knowledge for our entire lives.
There was a deep rotting fear injected in everyone and it also prevented them to teach us. So we can’t expect anyone to teach something they don’t understand.
Our society is programmed to live in an extremely materialistic way. Nobody gives a damn about self-discovery to dive deep into concepts like fear. People choose to live shallow lives, they become ghosts, they drink alcohol because it dampens down fear and anxiety by numbing certain parts of the brain.
Why You Should Overcome Your Fears
You can either adapt to fear or grow in a better direction by learning how to become courageous.
Being courageous carries you up in the hierarchy. People love and mimic it when you spread its uplifting and empowering energy.
Fear is an indicator of a worthy reward, so whenever you experience fear in your system, you should also be aware of the potential learning outcome.
There’s no great danger than playing it always safe.
Almost all learnings occur in spite of fear.
To learn something new, you have to step in the zone of the unknown and that’s often frightening as well. Hero reaches the reward only if he slays the dragon. That means voluntary exposure to the thing you are afraid of will help you reach your goal.
Be careful because if it’s something more than you can tolerate, the damage and pain you get would be detrimental.
Fear helps you to maintain whatever you’re identified with.
When you consider fear as a trivial issue, you stay as the same person for your whole life.
You don’t evolve, you don’t change, you die before your death. What’s the general attitude towards fear in our society? People always treat it like, “Oh you just fear, forget it” like it’s something they don’t need to care about.
Here’s the devil plays its game because if you never care, you never learn.
It also doesn’t matter who you ask advice for because that person will be living full of fear.
You can be a very important scientist who is full of fear. You can pay for thousands of dollars to get treatment from a psychiatrist but that won’t work either because…
Fear dominates the entire life.
People don’t even attempt to break the limitation of the culture they live in.
Fear is not something that you experience once in a while, contrarily you are living through it all the time.
You are just like the street animals who are raised in a terrible neighborhood.
Since their environment treated them violently, they developed a self-defense mechanism through fear. They can panic, act fast, or bite you even if your whole intention is to pet or feed them. Why? Because they are paralyzed by fear.
Well, if fear dominates your entire life then you should be aware of it, right? Nope, not at all.
Your emotional system is managed by your subconscious which has been built to increase your survival chance from the history of time. Even if you are dominated by fear all the time, you might not be aware of it because we mostly live our lives on autopilot.
Why is it so difficult to get rid of your fears?
Have you ever experienced that high-quality logical advice can’t help you overcome your fear at all? What’s the reason for it?
Fear is not just a psychological problem, it’s a core issue. It’s a self-control mechanism that kept you and your ancestors alive for millions of years.
Survival does not solely exist on the physical or intellectual level. 95% of the actions you make in your day come automatically from your subconscious.
So yeah, the fear can help you to run away from a lion but its function is not limited there. Fear keeps you at the same level of whatever you are identified with because evolving involves a lot of threats.
You’re mostly obliged to maintain your identity to stay alive in society. What are these identities?
Doctor, Muslim, Christian, mother, father, lawyer, supervisor, etc…
When you are identified with these titles, they can permeate your whole life because you make every decision based on these identities. It affects who you hang out with, what you do at the weekends, what kind of foods you eat.
Here’s the trick.
Losing your self-image is the same thing with physical death for your brain because it can’t differentiate both.
This is why you see people debate so outrageously in verbal discussions. They are afraid to die when counter arguments threaten their fake identity.
You must be willing to die for your new self to be born. If you hold onto the old beliefs, oversimplifications, and ignorance, you kill the possibility of learning something new.
Scientists can’t do accurate science because most of them freak out to find out the truth. Why? Because that will also threaten their scientific identity. You can’t do anything accurately when you are afraid of reality itself.
What you are is defined by your fears.
If you are identified with being attractive, you are going to be afraid of aging or losing your hair.
Maybe you are identified with fame, money, or status; then you will be afraid of losing those and people will treat you like a loser. What about being a good person? You will act kind, naive, lovely even when people are violating your standards.
Why? Because you will be afraid of losing your nice identity and being labeled as a bad person. So, as long as you are not willing to change your identity, it’s not possible to conquer your fears.
In high school years, I had a Muslim friend who was afraid of reading the Quran. He used to say, “I am so freaked out if it’s full of bullshit.”
Lol, that’s a paradox in itself because if you don’t trust it in the first place, then why are you Muslim at all? Religions mostly become a part of our identity through cultural influence. So my friend had an identity that is being a Muslim, so he did not want it to be changed.
The problem is that we are forced to form an identity in such randomness for 20+ years by playing video games, having fun, passing bullshit tests. Most people realize this nonsense in their 30s, 40s, or even 50s and they think it’s too hard to change it. What happens later? They surrender themselves to the system.
You create an identity for years without knowing what you are doing and you can’t change it because of fear.
When you say, “that’s just me, that’s who I am”, that is your ego is speaking. That’s not even close to who you are, that’s what society made up yourself to be. So what you actually fear in this context is losing these random attachments.
Fear is never an objective fact because it always happens in your inner world.
There are billionaires who are afraid of going broke. One person cuddles and dance with the snake, another one freaks out when seeing it. What does that mean? The fear is not in the snake, it’s in the mind.
All fear is imaginary.
You don’t even know if that’s true because it happens in your subjective mind. Think about the consequences of living a lie because you assumed it as a reality. That’s pretty much the whole life of an average Joe.
Fear is also the best manipulation method. Society is built upon using your fears against you. Look at all the ads, they are specially designed to push on the button of your fears.
The reality is that you don’t need to buy all those useless products, you don’t have to impress anybody, but it doesn’t matter when the fear kicks in your system. You must perceive reality wrongly to experience fear, so you feel an illusional need to buy expensive horseshit.
Mindfulness is the key
Fear can only be understood by paying attention to what’s going inside you.
No matter how much you read on the internet or listen to people you admire, nobody can teach you what fear is because it’s a result of your mental interpretation.
Fear occurs as a result of judgment and you can’t understand it unless you get to know about the judge. Maybe you notice, or maybe you don’t but there’s an internal process going on leads to experience fear.
An average person may have up to 60,000 thoughts a day. We generate most of them automatically from the orders of our subconscious mind.
If certain events were detected as a possible danger, we experience fear as a natural response.
We can say fear is the resistance to future experience.
The strange thing is that fears are often illusions and they only keep us in a fake and limited world. When we increase our awareness, we can also see their fakery. This is the only way to stop resisting and let the fear go away.
Meditation plays a huge role here. I am not talking about zen yoga type of nonsense. Meditation is any kind of activity that helps you get a healthy perspective of reality. It’s a place where you focus on inward rather than outward.
You can meditate while sitting on a bank where lots of kids and animals making noise. You can meditate while working out, writing your journal, or when you pause and start thinking in the middle of your reading session.
The reason why nobody knows about fear because they never bother anything asking themselves.
You wanna conquer your fears? Root yourself in reality.
Fighters often claim that they’re always afraid of their opponents. In Rocky 6, Rocky admits to his son that he was scared to death.
Here’s the part of their talking.
Robert: So you are going through with this?
Rocky: Yeah, I start training tomorrow.
Robert: So are you nervous about the fight?
Rocky: I am scared to death.
Robert: You don’t look scared.
Rocky: Well, you’re not supposed to.
So, does being afraid make Rocky less of a fighter? Only morons would think that. You put your neck on the line when anytime you step on the ring, of course, you will be afraid.
The fear in this concept is healthy because it will motivate you to work harder before the actual fight. There are certain fears you can overcome right away and there are some fears that you can’t.
For example, you might be afraid of an object because of the darkness. When the lights are open, you see it’s just a toy and the fear goes away.
When you got enlightened by discovering your inner world, you can conquer a lot of fears. You connect the dots and figure out what’s unknown, so fear loses its power.
However, do you remember what I’ve said in the beginning? Yeah, we will always be afraid. The brain will offer us possible scenarios all the time, so you better do something about them.
For a fighter, it’s working harder in the training for preparation. For you, that might be something else. For Michael Jordan, it was training harder in the basketball court.
He said, “I never feared about my skills because I put in the work. Work ethic eliminates fear. So if you put forth the work, then what are you fearing? You know what you’re capable of doing, what you’re not.”
The fear is there for you to conquer it. It’s a motivation fuel for success. If you are making tough shots over and over again in hardcore training sessions, that builds up your self-confidence and you perform your best in the game.
The more you put in the work, the more fear dissolves in your system.
When you overcome your fears, it feels liberating and delightful because you get rid of all the mental blocks and chains stopping you from being the person you can be because you are not the same person anymore.
You know that and you feel alive.
And lastly no, you don’t have to show your ass in public.