Who are you really? Who am I?
Are you your body? Are you your mind? Or are you your thoughts?
Maybe you are a combination of all three?
Wow, the deep questions came again. Why the hell they are keep coming into my mind anyway?
Fuck, forget it, let’s back to our normal life. That’s what people do all the time. They suppress the questions come within. And the questions are more than just questions.
They are the manifestation of our growth capacity. The more you ask, the more you know. You understand the intelligence by the quality of one’s question.
If you have kids, you know that they keep asking tons of questions every single day. An average kid asks more than 200 questions a day.
Children ask out of curiosity which is the core of their spiritual growth. That is why they learn so quickly and grow fast.
Do you think that these questions won’t come again? Well, motherfucker, I have super solutions. Alcohol, drugs, television, masturbation & porn.
I know how to fuck my soul and character right in there every single day. You think you can fuck with me?
But wait, this is interesting. I guess this guy knows something.
Why the hell am I in this blog?
What made me come here?
Wait, do I question? Whoa, maybe I am still alive ha?
THE DAY I STARTED TO DISCOVER
WHO I REALLY AM
I was walking along the street. Just a regular day. Those questions were on my mind again.
I saw a beautiful lady, just coming from across the street. I could not keep my eyes away from her. She looked back and we had a moment of eye contact.
I did not say a word, she just passed by near me.
I felt an immense discomfort, it was a mixture of fear and excitement. What was that? I started to dig in more. That was not normal. I lived in similar situations in my life dozens of times but never paid attention.
Living like it did not happen at all was a better option. Soon I discovered that I was constantly living in fear.
I just repeatedly suppressed it many times, it started to feel like a normal feeling. It seems like a small thing, but think.
As a society, we suppressed our fears and accepted living with them. After accepting it, it became part of us.
What is the fear?
Fears are often illusions.
They keep us away from our real-beings.
Let me tell you what fear is.
Fear actually has 2 different meanings.
Forget Everything And Run
Face Everything And Rise
It depends on which side of the spectrum you are in.
How many times I haven’t taken action when I saw an opportunity? It does not have to be a beautiful lady. The problem was much deeper.
It was a restriction of self-expression.
The fear took control over me and paralyzed my actions. Actually, it never allowed me to take action at all.
How many opportunities did I miss just because of the fear?
Look, fear might be normal in some situations just to make sure you stay alive. But if there is no solid proof of why you feel the fear, then obviously there is something wrong.
Fear Cause Diseases
I had limiting thoughts in my mind and my brain was filled with bullshit stuff.
It was clear that I had to take action to conquer but how? What did I need to do to overcome this? At that time, I came across the cold approach methods.
I did not know the term cold approach back then. I just wanted to make some experiments. I made some research on the internet and there were some people who recommend practicing it.
I was surprised that I was not alone.
But there was something different. Most of those guys were just chasing pussy. Their motivation was getting laid and meeting more women.
They were trying to tell poor young boys how to get more women on an intellectual level.
The brutal truth is “you can’t become good with women by reading online material”.
Those guys were all scams and they were selling hope. Hopeless men were copying their “tactics” to solve their deepest core problems.
Men are already born with great flirtation skills.
It is our inborn skill to impress a lady.
Can you teach walking, clapping, jumping with some techniques and skills?
Okay, put your left arm in front of your shoulders, and yeah your right leg will make a 32-degree angle with your hip. Now, put your feet along with the…
What the fuck?
I did not care about the pussy at all. My motivation was to reach my true potential, to reach a level of self-mastery.
That’s why all pick-up community is trash. They are far away from giving you what is necessary.
Anyone who has great social skills has them because they practiced more than you.
That means you are going out and talking to hot chicks.
All you need for this is a pair of balls and guess what? You have them. If you don’t believe me, put your hands below your dick, they are there!
You have balls if you want to use them.
And the story began…
I approached hundreds of women. It was one of the biggest challenges of my life.
I knew that %99,9 of the male population would not dare to talk a random woman on the street. That’s why it was very motivating for me to do this. It did not matter if I succeed or not, I was successfully out of the social norms.
How did I start?
I was shaking whenever I try to talk.
Whenever I open a conversation, I felt amazing discomfort in all parts of my body. My voice was terrible, my feet were shaking…
The women had no idea what is happening… They could not focus on what I was saying at all because I was giving such awful energy. They just sensed that anxiety and fear.
There have been days that I walked for hours and did not talk to a single lady. It was a pathetic feeling to walk all over the city and turning back home without opening a single conversation. I just could not find the courage to open a conversation.
The resistance beat the hell out of me at first. I was seeing girls, maybe a little eye contact… But, something was making me freeze.
In my head, a voice kept telling me: run away, or you’ll die!
I could not make that noise stop. Later I realized that was the voice kept me in my comfort zone for a lifetime.
The resistance pushed self-limiting and destructive words all the time.
- Look at that beauty, she doesn’t even wanna talk to you? Who you are?
- What if she got angry? Screams and yells?
- What if she rejects you?
- What if she has a boyfriend?
- What if her father or brother was there?
What if, what if, what if…
My brain was literally creating disaster situations every time I try to approach one.
Then I made out some basic openings just simple like “asking for the address or the time”. I could do that but it was a pathetic way to start a conversation.
This was an easy way to escape from fear.
I had to be direct
Wasn’t the all story was to be yourself? Why would I cover my intention with bullshit questions? It was meaningless.
I constantly reminded myself;
- Look you are going to die, motherfucker
- If you keep being scared, you will die like a piece of shit.
- GO AND CONQUER IT.
- What are you waiting for? JUST DO IT!
Reminding yourself you are going to die is a great way to eliminate fear.
I started to make DIRECT openings
I realized one thing. Whenever I don’t think and just do whatever I wish, that was the time I had the most fun.
Whenever I had the most fun, that was the conversation ended up beautifully. Because everything was flowing naturally.
Whenever I stop and start to think, then all weird stuff started to happen. Whoa, what the fuck was that?
Shouldn’t I think at all? But, I taught every problem could be handled by thinking? Did not school teach us to solve all problems with thinking?
Something clicked right in there… You cannot be yourself by only thinking, my man. Thinking kills the value of the moment.
The thinking was DISRESPECTING the moment.
Whenever I forced myself to think rather than being just in the moment, women immediately sensed that. My attitude was not there, my body language was not there.
My intentions were not there…
Women just felt that. Damn, they had amazing senses. If there is something wrong, they immediately sense it. So, cold approaches were an amazing feedback method.
Women immediately want to know what you are up to. If your intention was not clear, they kill you in a second.
They wanted honesty and sincerity and both did not require thinking.
There was a huge power behind the intensions.
I was going to talk to ladies like “Hey, I am going to talk to for a minute. It will be a lot of fun, don’t worry.”
I was being brutally direct. I had nothing to hide. No methods, no thoughts… My mind was empty like Bruce Lee’s water.
It was not as easy as it sounds like because the mind did not stop whispering. However, I saw that it was possible by practice.
People just appreciate honesty. Women love it when they see a man who is not afraid of being real.
I was not thinking about what to say next. I never hesitated to cut their road and ask for their number. They were always laughing and fascinated by my sexual energy.
My cockiness and badass attitude make them feel special. When I teased them they felt more special…
When I showed their weaknesses and what kind of shit tests they have done to me, their reaction was very simple… How did you learn all of these? How do you know me this well?
Are you an oracle? Are you mystic?
No, I was that pathetic guy who was shaking in front of you. But, I trained hard to toughen up… They just did not know.
If you ask women these topics, they don’t get it. Women just think every man is free to do anything they want.
Because average Joe never came to her and tried to talk to her…
Only naturally talented men came up to them. So, they assume all men are free to open up conservation to the women they liked.
The Harsh Truth
I was rejected and treated like a piece of the shit most of the time.
Women were RUTHLESS. When they have seen any sign of weakness, they showed no mercy.
Most of the times, I have been like;
- Fuck that! I won’t let these bitches humiliate me!
- Oh, this is stupid. Why do I need to feel such a pain!
My ego was hurt many many times. The dissolution of the ego is a painful process.
We have been told many times by our parents. You are perfect just the way you are. We love you no matter what.
Guess what? The cold approach shows the real truth. No one gives a shit about you. Those women you see on the street do not give a damn about your personality at all.
My ego was huge. I did not know that.
It is all in your head. At the end of the day, what matters is always your thoughts and ideas about you.
YES. Everything is all in your damn head.
We have been always told to act in a certain way. The personality you call as MYSELF is a result of what is imposed on you for years.
The ego is the brain created idea that forces us to act in a certain way.
You are hanging out with your male friends. Everything is going great and then the topic comes to talking to women. They all agree that it would be fun to talk to different kinds of women that night.
Then you suggest: “Okay guys, everyone will approach 5 different women tonight”.
You get the answers like;
- “Oh no! This is not me.”
- “I’m perfectly fine right now, we will do it later”
- “Yeah yeah, that’s a great idea, but not now”
Where do they all sentences come from? “I’m not that kind of person”. What does this mean?
It is the ego speaking that puts you in a certain shape. It’s screaming like “DON’T KILL ME!”
That ego also causes certain mental stress, fear, anxiety and disaster scenarios to stay alive.
I started to question again. Why did I feel that mental pain? I could question these for years but to destroy it, there was only one option.
If thinking can’t get the job done, then action will.
I HAD TO FACE MY EGO DIRECTLY
I started to put myself in an uncomfortable position in front of the girls. I was just being vulnerable in front of them…
God, it hurt so much when they just ignored me… Yeah most of them did not even stop for giving an answer. They just passed by like I was not even there.
They treated me like I am a GHOST.
Some were rude and ruthless. They used harsh words to make me feel bad for talking to them.
All rejections hurt my ego very badly. It has weakened and weakened until it completely vanished.
They were just a bunch of women who know nothing about me. When they treated me like a piece of shit, why did it hurt so much?
I was willingly giving away my power.
That was one big click moment. It was all me that giving my power away.
If I did not care at all, they would have ZERO power on me.
And guess what I discovered?
Women mostly don’t respond to who you are in a cold approach. The environment, their social conditioning, and the image you gave to them in the first moment…
Yes, communication is our responsibility, but the message sent is not message delivered.
The girl you talk can have such a stressful day, she can be mentally ill. Moreover, they don’t even know who you are at all… What they reject is not your personality…
It was self-destructing to take all rejections personally.
Most women were shocked when I approached them directly. They thought this was a joke or social experiment or something else.
Later most of them admitted that they have never witnessed this situation in their lifetime. They did not know how to handle it. They just act as their subconscious mind commanded them to do.
What have they been told for years?
You are a princess. Men are bad and they have a lower value. They have to use some tricks to earn your heart.
These stories have been told us relentlessly. So, rejections started to mean nothing to me. The process started to be more like a fun experiment rather than being goal-oriented.
That created the magic.
I had no shame and cowardliness in my actions anymore. It was basically just me performing being myself as an artist on the stage.
I never said anything that I did not want to say. I never put any women on a pedestal just because they are women. I was free…
Don’t get me wrong. This was a serious long process.
It took me more than 2 years practicing this. I recorded my voice, wrote my analyses on my journal, etc… I used new methods and strategies whenever I go and approach.
The process was painful but it worked like magic. This was my experiment and what I earned was simply priceless.
Now, I could understand what type of women they actually are by just looking at their faces and body language. I can sense their personality immediately. Sounds crazy right?
Mastering women was just a small percentage of the reward.
My social intelligence has skyrocketed
The cold approach was like an exercise for social part of the brain.
At the end of the day, there was a tremendous pain in a specific part of my brain. It is like a muscle group that you haven’t trained for years. Once you started to train, you feel the delayed muscle soreness.
I realized that most of my life I never exercised those social muscles. Now, my brain automatically solves the situations and let me know what to do.
Whenever I see a woman, I understand whether she is my type or not without even talking.
The instincts I suppressed for years came to alive and they were ready to serve for me. I sensed the reactions before girls even open their mouths.
This is the type of gut instinct that you develop after such a hard process. My gut always spoke to me, I just did not hear and dismiss it for a lifetime. That was the reason why I lived my life in a cage.
That was the core of all desperate moments of my life. I was an aimless college student and working in a job that I did not like…
Do you know what happened after cold approach training?
I began to form new ideas in my mind. It was not about women, money, fame, a sexy body. What I wanted was much more than that.
I just quit everything and started to make my own decisions. I was bold enough to do anything I want.
Do you remember the statement that “I was being me.”?
It was valid for my whole life. It is you that is changing and reaching your true self.
I developed an unapologetic mindset that sets me free from the opinions of others.
After cold approaches, I realized that my whole life was shaped by other circumstances. I was not the leading man in my own movie.
Life was short, so I took the charge…
All people are afraid of being themselves. They run from somewhere to somewhere… Not even single of them were living the life they wanted.
They all were in fear. The FEAR was controlling them. Everyone was just suppressing their fear, rather than conquering it.
They live like it is not there. But for me, it was not the same. I was just out of the normal and boring life anymore…
“To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom”
My perspective has changed…
Just because of a simple decision I made, it dragged me into another world. That feeling of freedom is indescribable.
I was not the same man anymore… I conquered it…
You can do it, too.
As a whole world, we need more people to be doing what they love.
The life of your dreams might be just one step further behind that fear.
Will this be one of the millions of worthless online material you consumed?
What are you gonna do with this information?
Are you going to grab those pair of balls and do what you are meant to do? Or will you let the resistance kick your ass in the form of sneaky fear?
It all depends on you and your decision. The rest is your duty and no one can help you on your journey.
I can only show the way, walking is your job.
Pull the trigger and dare to live beyond your realm of possibilities.
There is no better feeling than seeing a soul evolving.